Miss Portland Diner
49 Marginal Way
871-5500

There's nothin' finer than a Worcester diner, was a slogan of the Worcester Lunch Car Company, which manufactured diners in Worcester, MA from 1906-1961. They specialized in small, handcrafted diners with porcelain exteriors and hardwood interiors. The inside of Worcester diners were often adorned with marble countertops, hardwood booths, and stainless steel panels shaped into starburst patterns.

Worcester diners were well known for their level of craftsmanship, and you'll be hard-pressed to find a finer example of one than the Miss Portland. Not only does Miss Portland possess nearly all her original finishings, she is in remarkably good condition, having aged rather elegantly. She stands in exceptional contrast to her sister, the Miss Worcester, in whose booths I consumed many meat loaf dinners while in college. Miss Worcester is still up and running, but sadly, hasn't maintained her girlish shape as has Miss Portland. Miss Worcester can't compare to Miss Portland in talent or congeniality either. After all these years, Miss Portland still has it going.

With college days adding nostalgia to nostalgia, my companion and I shuffled in to the Miss Portland, (that's how you get into a diner, you shuffle--when sitting at the counter, you sidle up--and when you choose a booth, you ease into it. It's important to know these things). It was cold out, and diner food was just the right call. It was 12:30, and much to our dismay, we had missed breakfast, (which they stop serving at 11:30). Now some people may contend that if a diner doesn't serve breakfast at all hours of the day, it's not truly a diner. I disagree. Breakfast or not, Miss Portland is a diner's diner.

Our timing proved good. If we hadn't missed breakfast, we may not have tried the lunch, which really hit the spot. From the special board, my friend chose the pea soup and a grilled cheese sandwich ($1.95/cup, $2.50/bowl, $3.50/combo), and a side of fries with gravy ($2.55). The grilled chicken sandwich with bacon, lettuce, tomato, and ranch dressing, with french fries and cole slaw caught my attention. I was actually leaning toward the meat loaf with potato and veggie ($4.50), or a hot turkey or roast beef sandwich with potato and veggie ($4.50), until I saw the home cut french fries arrive at a neighboring booth. The fries decided it, and they didn't disappoint. Neither did the grilled chicken. The bulkie roll was fresh, and so were the lettuce and tomato. The chicken itself was a patty, and not a breast, but it was tasty none-the-less. The fries were delicious, (though better without the gravy), and the cole slaw, fantastic! (Because so much of the food is homemade--meatloaf, fries, soup--I assume the slaw is too, though I didn't ask). My friend's pea soup was excellent-good flavor, good texture. She liked it, despite the small bits of ham (she doesn't eat meat). I liked it too, and I'm not normally a big pea soup fan. She drank a diet Pepsi ($1.00/small, $1.10/large) with her meal, and I had decaf coffee ($.95, free refills). We finished by splitting a piece of blueberry pie ($.95), which was good--not bakery good, but good. Our lunch bill totaled $15.53.

Other lunch selections included a range of sandwiches, from fried egg ($1.65); to grilled cheese ($1.85); hamburger ($1.95); cheeseburger ($2.10); BLT ($2.65);sliced chicken ($2.75); and tuna salad ($2.85); to Triple Decker Club Sandwiches like sliced chicken; tuna salad; chicken salad; sliced ham; and hamburger patty, served with fries and cole slaw ($4.25-$4.50); to Special Sandwiches like the deluxe burger or cheeseburger, with lettuce, tomato, and mayo; toasted chicken salad roll; toasted tuna salad roll; chicken patty with all white meat, lettuce, tomato, and mayo ($3.95-$4.50).

I don't know why anyone would go to a diner and eat a salad, but for those who would, small garden ($3.50), large garden ($3.95), and chef's ($4.50) are available. A better diner choice would be a side of gravy ($.60), hot veggie ($.1.35), fries ($1.95), fries w/gravy ($2.55), or cole slaw ($1.25).

Diners have good desserts. That's a fact. Apple, strawberry rhubarb, blueberry, lemon meringue, and Boston cream pies, and strawberry shortcake are all $1.95.

Like I mentioned, we missed breakfast, and after all, is there a better test of a diner than its breakfast? So, we had to return the next morning. Testament to the reason I like diners, the waitress remembered us from the day before, even what we'd ordered. Good, fresh coffee greeted us when we eased into our booth (the Miss Portland has a crew of faithful regulars, and I dare say we may join that group) and, familiar with the menu, we were soon ready to order.

My companion wished to try both the eggs and the pancakes, so she chose the Lumberjack Special: three eggs, two pancakes, and choice of ham, bacon, or sausage ($4.50), providing I would eat the meat. I jumped on a No. 1: three eggs, homefries, and toast ($2.45), and jazzed my homefries with sautéed onions for an extra $.75. The breakfast fare is pretty standard, everything from cereal with milk ($1.65); oatmeal ($1.65/cup, $1.95/bowl); a number of combinations of eggs, meat (ham, bacon, sausage, keilbasa, or steak), homefries, pancakes, french toast, and even fat-free, cholesterol-free egg substitute; plus a variety of omelettes. The egg, pancake, and french toast plates run from $2.45 to $6.45 (10oz sirloin strip steak), and the omelettes are $4.25-$4.65.

Of course, there are english muffins, bagels, biscuits, and muffins ($.50-$.70 as toast substitutes, $.75-$1.45 as side orders); sides of meat, homefries, and homemade corned beef hash ($1.95-$2.75); and an assortment of juices ($1.00/regular, $2.00/large).

Our breakfasts disappeared. I don't know if the cold weather jacked up our appetites, or the food was just that good, but our plates were clean in the time it took to sidle up to them. Onions were a great addition to my homefries, and I enjoyed the ham from my partner's Lumberjack Special.

parking
reservations
wheelchair accessible
vegetarian selections
vegan selections
beer
wine
liquor
Most credit cards accepted

Ok, no kidding, this isn't gourmet food, right? But, it's tasty, fresh, and the best diner food I've had. The place is spotless, warm, friendly, and unique--not to mention that a very satisfying breakfast only cost us a little more than $10.00. This wonderful little piece of well-maintained Americana is credit to the owner of the past 20 years, who also cooks, seven days a week. Can't blame him for wanting to take Sundays off, now can we? Get in there and see him during the week or on Saturday morning, because…there's nothin' finer than the Miss Portland diner.

Serving: Monday-Friday 6:00 A.M. - 2:00 P.M., Saturday 6:00 - 1:00 P.M., breakfast only, closed Sundays.  

      Matt O'Donnell is a poet and freelance writer who lives in Portland.